A Surge of Positivity

Yes, I'm actually feeling positive. I read somewhere that if you reflect upon just three good things of that day before you sleep, it makes you feel better. If you write it down, it will make you feel even more positive.

The idea behind writing down things that made you feel good on the said day is to make you relive those good moments. When your mind is focused on the good, reminded of the good, it begins to believe in the good. And trust me, I did that and well, it's worked. I have been more positive in these 25 days than I had been last year.

Ah well, so much for the name of my blog.

I really don't know if what I say makes any sense to anyone. I tend to drift in and out of random thoughts. The typical ADHD type of behaviour. But it isn't that bad, you know. It just goes to show that I have a lot in my mind that I am dying to articulate. And that delivery of thoughts might get messed up. There is an idea everywhere. You just need to see it. Maybe read between the line (Maybe that will help).

But just to clarify, I'm not promoting any satanic cult or probing you towards the dark side. I'm just sharing my thoughts, which linger in and around the grey area. I won't say there isn't any black or white. I'm just saying it's up to you. Either you can look at the grey, the black or the white. Your perception really does make a difference.

What you perceive is what you believe. And belief, as many have seen in the past, can demolish buildings; moving mountains might be next on the list.

Well, let me know if this made you think.

May Your Darkness guide you to Your Light!

No, I haven't forgotten.

To whomsoever it may concern,

I have not forgotten about my blog. I simply didn't have anything to say. I had taken a break from my hectic schedule. Well, I guess I'm going back to it then.

I don't know if my posts this year will make sense or not. I make no promises. But I will make them, no matter how nonsensical.

May Your Darkness guide you to Your Light!

Nearing the End of another Year

The year is coming to an end. This has been a hell of a rollercoaster ride from hell to heaven with a ticket cut to Genabackis right after finishing off Westeros. Yes, geeky.

I've had my ups and downs. I've had my share of drama. My time in the light, my epiphanies in the dark. I started this blog for absolutely no reason other than the fact that I love to write. And well, Here I stand (sit actually) barely 10,000 words from finishing my very first novel. Yes, that is what I have been up to all year. But it wasn't an easy ride. Actually it was. The supplements of my real life however weren't.

Understand this, I keep saying look to the dark, tread in the dark, etc., etc. because I don't think the darkness is wrong. Hell, it is only one side of the coin. Nothing is bad. Well, Godhra was bad. But never mind.

I've come to a point where I can really see how far I have come. Not just with my novel, but with my life. In less than a year, I wrote over 214914 words. And well, I have lived much and more than that. And with every incident that has passed, I can see how it has all affected me. I've made terrible mistakes, realised terrible wrongs and tried to right all I could.

Just look back to your year and see how much you've done. How much have you suffered? How much have you lived? Every instance that will flash in your mind will show you how great your life has been. Or not. Depends on your perception.

I've done not so socially acceptable things this year (nothing illegal), and well I'm happy. That is what matters. (Fuck, I'm cheesy. I see know how much I might have changed as well.)

Anyways, hope you guys had a great year.

May the Darkness guide you to Your Light!

How to avoid killing yourself by killing someone else instead

Yeah, that is the title. I'm getting good at this, aren't I? Don't answer that.

Well, suicide is a frowned upon act, and in many ways it is extremely hurtful. Some people say suicide isn't the end of life, it is the end of pain and misery. But well, if your life is full of pain and misery, perhaps you do need to end it. Wait, before you slit yourself, let me make this clear. Suicide is an option. But there is a better option. Homicide.

You aren't the only person suffering. There are starving children in Africa, idiots on the internet blabbering about stuff that takes your attention off the important events, and many other assholes. No one truly deserves to die. But hey, you don't always get what you deserve. 

Don't kill yourself because you didn't get what you want, because your lacking something. You have it in you. You have everything you need inside you. All you need is a little push (not off a cliff).

Before you think that 'I am done. I have nothing to live for...' think again. Perhaps you do. There are people who you think don't need you. You're wrong. You don't need them. Cut them off (not literally). Homicide is illegal. So don't just read the title and murder someone. It was just my way of attracting you here so you would read what I have. Not all you read on the internet is true. But it can and should make you think

We are programmed to follow, not to think. And well, if you follow your guts and kill yourself, you'll be preventing a whole series of events that might happen just because of your existence. On the contrary, if you decide to dedicate your life to saving lives, being a vigilante or just simple social service, well you can do much better. The point is to think. Renovate your perceptions. Sometimes, the darkness is what holds the greatest of treasures. Remember, light did not exist till after a crapload of years. If the world could survive in the dark then, well, we can still do so. Just because the sun shines doesn't mean the shadows are any darker. Maybe the shadows are trying to help you.

Forget about what society tells you. They're nutjobs. Think for yourselves. Open your mind and throw away those suicidal thoughts.

As for homicide, well by killing, I meant cut them off. Let them be dead to you. Their existence shouldn't matter. And if you really want to kill, then kill the people all you want but only in your head. Sometimes visualising murder can calm you down. But if it is getting out of hand, please see a psychiatrist.

I hope I don't get sued for this.

My posts are getting weirder I feel...

May the Darkness guide you to Your Light!

Suicidal

What is the point of all this? It all sums down to bare essentials, and what is more essential than money? Well, social acceptance. It can kill a mother and orphan a child, all the while accepting sexual abuse and religious fanaticism. This is the fucked up society we live in.

I'm just sitting here ranting on but what more can I do? I'm no superman, neither do I have any strong connections. My greatest weapons are my words, that is if they are read. I can simply propagate ideas. And when I am at my lowest, even they might not work.

Seeing this fucked up society, I feel ashamed of being a human.

It makes me feel... Suicidal.

Diwali

Another year, the festival of lights begins. It is a time of happiness, family love, and deafening firecrackers.

The lights in the houses and outside on the streets in this time of the year are simply a treat for the eye. The crackers are simply a medical condition in the making.

Would Ram really want us to induce deafness into our future generation? Who knows?

Yes this isn't the happiest of posts, but the point is to make you think. Is there really any significance in the crackers? Diwali is meant for the lights, for the family and loved ones. To share treats and exchange gifts brought out of love, not obligation. Diwali is yet another commercial festival in India, just like Ganpati, Holi and Christmas.

The essence of it is truly lost. But then again, what used to be a way of life in the ancient times is now simply a matter of tradition. Tradition not followed out of love or excitement, but out of the sense of duty.
Someone should really try and celebrate a peaceful Diwali (and all other festivals) keeping in mind the original idea behind such events. After all, we are the generation of globalisation. Who knows what more waits for us in the future?

May the Darkness guide you to Your Light!

Disappointment with a hint of Homicidal Tendancy

So I just returned from the Mumbai Film Festival. I had been attending this lovely treat for cinephiles like me for the past two years. This year was amazingly terrible.

To begin with, the management was just as average as the previous years. I don't understand how they could fuck up after having fucked up before. I almost lost my life in a stampede for a film. This is the level of our peoples' stupidity. And to top it all up, there were ads being played. ADS. Are you fucking kidding me? Ads in a film festival? That too ads that are 15 minute long and eat up the time of the film? Seriously, someone needs to be spanked on the ass with a white hot iron rod. After this, I know for sure that I want to destroy the ad industry as horribly as I can.

But that isn't even the wort part of the festival. The worst were the people, the pseudo-cinephiles. Honestly, the crowds were fanatics in the last few years; people who would begin a riot if there was a disturbance. This year, the crowd was the biggest disturbance I faced. Not one film was watched without a phone ringing, or someone chatting on WhatsApp. People were talking, people were laughing at the Korean accents in a film (nothing funny, in fact they laughed at a guy dying just because it sounded funny), when I voiced my opinion against the annoyingly horrifying ads that they were playing, this same crowd asked me to shut up, defending the management's mistakes. This is what this festival has come to.

The movies were decent, the management was average, but the audience was worthy of hell. It is, I believe the fault of the management. Had they not commercialised their festival so much, it would still be catering to the niches that respect cinema, and not to the Facebook-WhatsApp generation that disrespects the film, the filmmaker and true-blood cinephiles.

Hope this festival never happens again. The crowds did not deserve it. And for those who actually deserve it, they cannot enjoy it as long as these assholes keep disturbing them. So what's the point anyways?

May the Darkness consume you in your Light, MAMI! You were a big disappointment. 

Mental Clutter and Demons

Demons scream with a chill in their voice. Their silence is the loudest one can hear. But why is it that we care only for the babies that cry in the middle of the night? What makes them hungry? Biology?

For all I know, all the sciences that I see are demons waiting for their time to shine. Science has evolved to a level where it is common sense to most of us. Yet, there are large populations that benefit not from the developments of the rich.

Demons at war?

Angels, they say are always looking at us with a happy heart, protecting us. But what about the demons that are so intensely involved with our lives? Why are we so afraid of them? Do we really fear our demons, while looking up to those that rarely cast a blessing upon us?

What kind of god would want to kill non-believers? Maybe they're just people that have accepted their demons. This might seem too satanic to people, but it's only a vague thought out of my random mind.

Maybe I should change the name of my blog.

Nah, my demons won't let me.

May the Darkness guide you to Your Light!

A little help...maybe?

Okay, usually I don't do two posts one after the other, but right now something just crossed my mind. To be honest, it's a sort of confusion regarding my own social life, and by that I mean social media. The way I see it, almost every person I know (except the really old people) are all in this mess. Even my own parents are addicted to Whatsapp and got knows what! And here I am detesting almost each social media site.

But then again, I do blog, and that can be considered a form of social media. However, why don't I do this same thing on Facebook? I can certainly get more attention from there. Or even Twitter, but there I have limited characters.

I try to stay away from social media and yet, I realise that without it I might not be able to stay in touch with anyone. That is my confusion. Should I allow this social media craze to take over me?

I don't know who is reading this, but I hope you can understand my dilemma.

This is probably the first post where I speak like a human, and not some psychotic wannabe philosopher.

I usually end my posts one way, but this time...

May the Darkness guide me...

Mother Darkness?

He looks at us, she looks at us. Mother darkness has been upset with all this talk of light. Father light was birthed by the mother of us all, and through this rose our world. But who is to say for God simply said 'Let there be a world' and poof; Brahma thought and his thoughts manifested, as they continue to do till the end of eternity.

Almost every religion will tell you a creationist story in their own version, but nobody mentions mother darkness. She was the first to exist. Are we so ignorant that we forget our past? But then again, the big bang is only a theory.

Who is to say what truly happened. Devdutt Pattanaik has rightly said, "...Within infinite myths lies the eternal truth. Who sees it all? Varuna has but a thousand eyes. Indra, a hundred. You and I, only two."

May the Darkness guide you to Your Light!

We need a new plague

Negativity is at an all time high. The rains seem to be manipulating our minds. Marionettes are dancing with strings tied to their own rotten hands and yet, they believe that they owe it to someone else.

Life as I know it seems to be getting duller by the minute. A piece of paper is what I'm supposed to be risking my future for. Knowledge and intellect are forced to bow down to paper. And paper is nothing but a substitute for values, morals and status. I mean come on, you can't do anything beneficial for yourselves. Grow up guys, that is for kids. The more you grow up, the lesser you're allowed to dream.

See a psychiatrist if you must, but seriously, chuck that dream down the shitpot. All you need is a piece of paper that will secure your life.

.

.

.

.

SERIOUSLY????

Fuck you society.

Fuck you people who believe in the lenient version of my rant.

Fuck you people who put down my kind.

Fuck your orthodox-mundane values.

Fuck your dominating views.

Fuck your mentality.

Fuck your life.

Fuck your education.

Fuck your system.

Fuck your world.

Fuck your Gods. (I genuinely think religion is fucking us up big time)

And most importantly....

Fuck you.

I hope you get lost in the darkness of your own bizarre mind!

Writer's Block

There comes a time in every writer's life when he or she cannot produce what is most precious or prepossessing. This vile time is better known by the term, 'Writer's Block'.

I call it something else; I call it: The Lazy Mind Syndrome.

You don't have writer's block, you're just looking for excuses to not write. Probably you have a lot of distractions that you are intentionally succumbing to. Maybe it is just a simple 2048 game or a gigantic family reunion that you just can't afford to miss.

NO!

Nothing can be an excuse. You don't write once, cover it up, but don't ever put the blame on someone else! It isn't your dog, or your neighbour! Not even your girlfriend/boyfriend! For gods' sake, it's you!!! You are the block to the writer inside you!

And honestly, this Lazy Mind Syndrome is applicable to almost every  different kind of work that can be imagined. I mean, yeah I have never heard of Pilot's Block, but you get the point. I hope you do.

Why I made this post? Well, because I myself am going through some sort of a Lazy Mind Syndrome. I hate it that I haven't written as much as I should/could have. I am almost a month behind schedule. I hope you all are faring better than I am.

May the Darkness guide you to Your Light!

Ranting on...

So there is something that is happening in my life, which we all have to suffer through. Exams.Now I did not think I would be ranting so soon, considering just a few days back I had a rant post. But nonetheless, I was going through my notes and I realised that I have so much of hatred here.No don't get me wrong, education is very important, but does it have to be so mundane boring and so fucking irritating. Since childhood we are force-fed this fear of failure so we can try and buckle up to compete with people in doing things that don't even remotely interest us. I mean, I have no clue what I did learning about electronic circuits and the fundamentals of electronics for two years when I know that I'm gonna end up doing something in the arts field.We all suffer because of this farce of an education system.
We MUG up.
We don't learn useful things, we only learn how to score more than other people.
No matter how cheesy-as-fuck 3 Idiots was, it did make sense.
The education system is fucked up. And It isn't anyone else's fault. Its us. We want this corporate monotony in our life. For some godforsaken reason, we're afraid to feel what we should, do what we love and be what we want.It isn't easy doing what you dream to do, but honestly, if you try to move away from the set of ground rules set by some dickhead with a degree, you'll realise that the degree is just a disposable piece of paper with your name on it. It says you completed a course, but what about everything you learnt? Nobody can know unless they know who you are!
As for exams, which is what led me to this rant, they again are a farce. Another mockery to see what you are, make you vulnerable to peer pressure. It is like that quote by Einstein, "Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid."

This is what They are doing to us. We should focus on things that we are good at.

To end this very ambiguous and vague rant, I would like to share a link to one of my favourite songs of all time. 'Sanitarium (Welcome Home)' by Metallica.

Random Rant

I'm beginning to feel this blog is going dry. I feel like I'm running out of things to say, things to type. Is this what writer's block feels like? Maybe. Maybe not. Maybe I have some other things that are taking up much of my writing time. And I don't know if I can or will be blogging that often. How much can a blog actually be worth? I mean, how many people out there are even reading any of the posts I'm writing? I won't stop blogging, its something that keeps me going.

As for my writing, I am working on some things. Some of those things just mean more to me than others. And hopefully, I will be able to present those things to you soon. Soon, meaning by next year.

Yes, this is very much like a stupid Facebook update most people do. So here is something that you might find interesting. It's about writing. I found it extremely interesting and inspiring. 

May the Darkness guide you to Your Light!