A Surge of Positivity

Yes, I'm actually feeling positive. I read somewhere that if you reflect upon just three good things of that day before you sleep, it makes you feel better. If you write it down, it will make you feel even more positive.

The idea behind writing down things that made you feel good on the said day is to make you relive those good moments. When your mind is focused on the good, reminded of the good, it begins to believe in the good. And trust me, I did that and well, it's worked. I have been more positive in these 25 days than I had been last year.

Ah well, so much for the name of my blog.

I really don't know if what I say makes any sense to anyone. I tend to drift in and out of random thoughts. The typical ADHD type of behaviour. But it isn't that bad, you know. It just goes to show that I have a lot in my mind that I am dying to articulate. And that delivery of thoughts might get messed up. There is an idea everywhere. You just need to see it. Maybe read between the line (Maybe that will help).

But just to clarify, I'm not promoting any satanic cult or probing you towards the dark side. I'm just sharing my thoughts, which linger in and around the grey area. I won't say there isn't any black or white. I'm just saying it's up to you. Either you can look at the grey, the black or the white. Your perception really does make a difference.

What you perceive is what you believe. And belief, as many have seen in the past, can demolish buildings; moving mountains might be next on the list.

Well, let me know if this made you think.

May Your Darkness guide you to Your Light!

Nearing the End of another Year

The year is coming to an end. This has been a hell of a rollercoaster ride from hell to heaven with a ticket cut to Genabackis right after finishing off Westeros. Yes, geeky.

I've had my ups and downs. I've had my share of drama. My time in the light, my epiphanies in the dark. I started this blog for absolutely no reason other than the fact that I love to write. And well, Here I stand (sit actually) barely 10,000 words from finishing my very first novel. Yes, that is what I have been up to all year. But it wasn't an easy ride. Actually it was. The supplements of my real life however weren't.

Understand this, I keep saying look to the dark, tread in the dark, etc., etc. because I don't think the darkness is wrong. Hell, it is only one side of the coin. Nothing is bad. Well, Godhra was bad. But never mind.

I've come to a point where I can really see how far I have come. Not just with my novel, but with my life. In less than a year, I wrote over 214914 words. And well, I have lived much and more than that. And with every incident that has passed, I can see how it has all affected me. I've made terrible mistakes, realised terrible wrongs and tried to right all I could.

Just look back to your year and see how much you've done. How much have you suffered? How much have you lived? Every instance that will flash in your mind will show you how great your life has been. Or not. Depends on your perception.

I've done not so socially acceptable things this year (nothing illegal), and well I'm happy. That is what matters. (Fuck, I'm cheesy. I see know how much I might have changed as well.)

Anyways, hope you guys had a great year.

May the Darkness guide you to Your Light!

How to avoid killing yourself by killing someone else instead

Yeah, that is the title. I'm getting good at this, aren't I? Don't answer that.

Well, suicide is a frowned upon act, and in many ways it is extremely hurtful. Some people say suicide isn't the end of life, it is the end of pain and misery. But well, if your life is full of pain and misery, perhaps you do need to end it. Wait, before you slit yourself, let me make this clear. Suicide is an option. But there is a better option. Homicide.

You aren't the only person suffering. There are starving children in Africa, idiots on the internet blabbering about stuff that takes your attention off the important events, and many other assholes. No one truly deserves to die. But hey, you don't always get what you deserve. 

Don't kill yourself because you didn't get what you want, because your lacking something. You have it in you. You have everything you need inside you. All you need is a little push (not off a cliff).

Before you think that 'I am done. I have nothing to live for...' think again. Perhaps you do. There are people who you think don't need you. You're wrong. You don't need them. Cut them off (not literally). Homicide is illegal. So don't just read the title and murder someone. It was just my way of attracting you here so you would read what I have. Not all you read on the internet is true. But it can and should make you think

We are programmed to follow, not to think. And well, if you follow your guts and kill yourself, you'll be preventing a whole series of events that might happen just because of your existence. On the contrary, if you decide to dedicate your life to saving lives, being a vigilante or just simple social service, well you can do much better. The point is to think. Renovate your perceptions. Sometimes, the darkness is what holds the greatest of treasures. Remember, light did not exist till after a crapload of years. If the world could survive in the dark then, well, we can still do so. Just because the sun shines doesn't mean the shadows are any darker. Maybe the shadows are trying to help you.

Forget about what society tells you. They're nutjobs. Think for yourselves. Open your mind and throw away those suicidal thoughts.

As for homicide, well by killing, I meant cut them off. Let them be dead to you. Their existence shouldn't matter. And if you really want to kill, then kill the people all you want but only in your head. Sometimes visualising murder can calm you down. But if it is getting out of hand, please see a psychiatrist.

I hope I don't get sued for this.

My posts are getting weirder I feel...

May the Darkness guide you to Your Light!

Diwali

Another year, the festival of lights begins. It is a time of happiness, family love, and deafening firecrackers.

The lights in the houses and outside on the streets in this time of the year are simply a treat for the eye. The crackers are simply a medical condition in the making.

Would Ram really want us to induce deafness into our future generation? Who knows?

Yes this isn't the happiest of posts, but the point is to make you think. Is there really any significance in the crackers? Diwali is meant for the lights, for the family and loved ones. To share treats and exchange gifts brought out of love, not obligation. Diwali is yet another commercial festival in India, just like Ganpati, Holi and Christmas.

The essence of it is truly lost. But then again, what used to be a way of life in the ancient times is now simply a matter of tradition. Tradition not followed out of love or excitement, but out of the sense of duty.
Someone should really try and celebrate a peaceful Diwali (and all other festivals) keeping in mind the original idea behind such events. After all, we are the generation of globalisation. Who knows what more waits for us in the future?

May the Darkness guide you to Your Light!

The Point of Life

Whether it be a fly thee kill, or be it a monster slain by thy righteous hand,

Death in all it's glory is still a sorrowful thing.

The perception is all that matters.

Who knows, the monster might be the avatar of the very gods thee worship.

God plays a game in the queerest of ways, ways we may never understand,

As for that sword you lift, it may be the bane of those you love the most.

Life is a strange phenomenon.

It is the soul that matters.

The ones that tread in light sweat as the sun tires them,

And the moon sends chills down the nighttime traveller,

Filling the mind with horrors with questionable existence.

Yet, we all tread on.

Maybe that is the point of life, to find a point in this spherical object,

Cyclic in nature and spirit, with nothing to lose or gain,

Except that we believe we are attached to.

Cheesy Words, or Motivation? You decide....

One thing I learned in the last few days is that I fucking love writing. I'd die before I give up. I've risked my future to pursue my writing, and I hope that it would work out well.

Sometimes, treading in darkness can show you things in a much different perspective. I'm experiencing that at a very personal level. I see everyone going with the crowd while they laugh, mock and look down upon me for my decisions. People will never understand.

I'd die before I prove them right. And I know I'm not the only one here. There are many whose dreams are shattered by the critics. I say fuck them all.

Of course, it's easier said than done. Many people quit, but how many are actually working towards it? Before you take any rash decision, understand that once taken a step forward, it'll be a million times harder just to undo that. Tread wisely.

May the Darkness guide you to Your Light

Mental Clutter and Demons

Demons scream with a chill in their voice. Their silence is the loudest one can hear. But why is it that we care only for the babies that cry in the middle of the night? What makes them hungry? Biology?

For all I know, all the sciences that I see are demons waiting for their time to shine. Science has evolved to a level where it is common sense to most of us. Yet, there are large populations that benefit not from the developments of the rich.

Demons at war?

Angels, they say are always looking at us with a happy heart, protecting us. But what about the demons that are so intensely involved with our lives? Why are we so afraid of them? Do we really fear our demons, while looking up to those that rarely cast a blessing upon us?

What kind of god would want to kill non-believers? Maybe they're just people that have accepted their demons. This might seem too satanic to people, but it's only a vague thought out of my random mind.

Maybe I should change the name of my blog.

Nah, my demons won't let me.

May the Darkness guide you to Your Light!

Mother Darkness?

He looks at us, she looks at us. Mother darkness has been upset with all this talk of light. Father light was birthed by the mother of us all, and through this rose our world. But who is to say for God simply said 'Let there be a world' and poof; Brahma thought and his thoughts manifested, as they continue to do till the end of eternity.

Almost every religion will tell you a creationist story in their own version, but nobody mentions mother darkness. She was the first to exist. Are we so ignorant that we forget our past? But then again, the big bang is only a theory.

Who is to say what truly happened. Devdutt Pattanaik has rightly said, "...Within infinite myths lies the eternal truth. Who sees it all? Varuna has but a thousand eyes. Indra, a hundred. You and I, only two."

May the Darkness guide you to Your Light!

We need a new plague

Negativity is at an all time high. The rains seem to be manipulating our minds. Marionettes are dancing with strings tied to their own rotten hands and yet, they believe that they owe it to someone else.

Life as I know it seems to be getting duller by the minute. A piece of paper is what I'm supposed to be risking my future for. Knowledge and intellect are forced to bow down to paper. And paper is nothing but a substitute for values, morals and status. I mean come on, you can't do anything beneficial for yourselves. Grow up guys, that is for kids. The more you grow up, the lesser you're allowed to dream.

See a psychiatrist if you must, but seriously, chuck that dream down the shitpot. All you need is a piece of paper that will secure your life.

.

.

.

.

SERIOUSLY????

Fuck you society.

Fuck you people who believe in the lenient version of my rant.

Fuck you people who put down my kind.

Fuck your orthodox-mundane values.

Fuck your dominating views.

Fuck your mentality.

Fuck your life.

Fuck your education.

Fuck your system.

Fuck your world.

Fuck your Gods. (I genuinely think religion is fucking us up big time)

And most importantly....

Fuck you.

I hope you get lost in the darkness of your own bizarre mind!

The bias against the Dark

Life and its various aspects do seem interesting. We try to figure out the many metaphors that can be fit into a frame of thought so that we can with ease reflect upon the beauty and complexity of life.

But does anyone talk of death?

Maybe the afterlife comes into the picture, but that too is the after-LIFE. Why can't we call it after-DEATH?

It's simple. People like to reflect upon the lighter aspects of light. The white is always preferred because white can be dirtied and stained with our prejudices and biases. Nobody sees the true colour that is black, kept pure and unaffected by the prejudices. In light, we see all the differences but in darkness, all is the same.

In life, we see so many metaphors, in death?

Why is it that we see death as disgusting? Why can't anyone see the beauty of death?

Maybe with a little more probing, our minds will some day accept that there is this concept that should be dealt with for it too deserves a better understanding. is it because of the people who use the darkness for wrong? Or is it a mere misunderstanding or misinterpretation of the dark? Do we realise that in either scenario, we are kept in the dark about the darkness that we think is so dark that we try to end the darkness with light? Words matter and their propagation matters the most.

Maybe it is this very bias of light and dark that my blog might not appeal to many. Understandable. I will keep hitting the keys on my laptop till the day they are heard by someone. Wonder how many people out there who have such unheard voices because of the technological darkness that prevails in our lives wish to be heard...

May the Darkness guide you to Your Light!

Ixius... Coming soon...

It has once again been a while since I have written my last post. I don't have any excuses for it. I simply didn't want to. However, I was working on some other important stuff. I would rather not disclose everything that I was working on, however I may say this: It had been almost a year since I did something about my passion for films (making films that is). And finally, last Sunday, after a long vacation, Ixius Films finally shot its next short.

Again, this comes to my mind, why do I blog about all this?

Simple: because I love it.

Check out my films on any of the following links and well, I hope my next can outdo those.

Facebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/IxiusFilms

YouTube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/IxiusFilms

Well, I'm not a huge fan of Social Media but hey, sometimes you just have to keep yourself updated with the dying generation.

May Your Darkness guide you to Your Light!

Awaiting the Seasonal Change

So the new day has begun, quite some time back. In an almost gloomy sunlight, we are awaiting the dark yet exuberant monsoons. After the heatstrokes of our polluted realms, we eagerly wait for the cool and wet monsoons to come wash our sweat and sins away. Life, as we know it, changes from season to season. Our souls change as well? Or do they simply remember what was once forgotten?

It is but a simple lack of understanding that we face.

When the soul and the body accompany us, even the darkest of the depths can become the most welcoming of spots. The dark clouds of the approaching monsoon storms are evident to this.

May the Darkness guide you to Your Light!

Apocalypse Approaching....

About two weeks have passed.

Pressure and positivity seem to be in the lacking.

Oscillatory motions have begun to recede.

Convulsions and copulations are nothing but sins.

Anarchy is in the making.

Liars and cheaters rule our world.

Yes, it is the sad truth.

Probably this is the worst post yet.

Senseless, yet maybe something worthy.

End is near.

And yet we know it not.

People are dying.

Perfumed radiation.

Reactions are lethargic.

Obviousness is not that obvious.

And Swag meets Yolo for a date.

Common Sense is the most uncommon.

Hungover nights and memory imploding.

Improper life.

Never to be understood.

Good-bye fucktards.

May the Darkness guide you to Your Light!

Doomsday Premonition?

Evil reprises as dirt begins to fade

Love and hatred mate on sand

And burn along with sickle and spade

With worms squiggling with dying filth

And the Demons of dawn succumb

To the spreading of the plagues’ wealth

The blood is dripping from mouths platonic

And eyes are gouging with shame ridden low

Satan laughs as Hell crusades on the catatonic

And life becomes the apocalypse we all awaited for

The Gods are no longer there for us

They committed self-righteous holy suicide

The nectars and waters all filled with pus

As blood flies begin to feast upon our eyes

The day has come for madness to commence

As people will all disappear in the day

Life as we know will come to and end as

The dead will return to rule the realms of us mortals

And we will be no longer existing

As the minds of our selves will guide us to our sepulchers

Apocalyptic

The sinister mask of death that stares at my face with hollow eyes follows me beyond every checkpoint of my horrible nightmare. There must be a reason why the iron tree that I saw burning did not melt. Maybe it was the miniature particles around it that the birds dropped. All life shall end. Every angel shall be castrated and every demonic flame extinguished.

When light and dark copulate to populate our wildest fears, that is when we know the end is near. The gaseous residues that burn our world, the chemical warfare that we induce unto our own, that will be the end of us.

Paper wealth is nothing compared to the riches that Mother Earth was robbed off.

This is only but the first cycle of our nightmarish sleep.

Be wary my friend.

May the Darkness guide you to Your Light!

Mistakes

Why is it that we all make mistakes? Why is it, that we never want to learn from the mistakes of others? Is it so important for each and every one of us to make the same mistakes by ourselves and learn the lesson that someone so dear to us was trying to teach us?

Is it our ego that marks upon our decisions or is it our emotions? What controls them more? The Ego , the Emotions, or is it something more?

Why is it that every time we mug up for an exam, we remember most? Why is it that we get anxious over numbers that are imaginary and devised only to prove our worth, but mean nothing?

It is all a pretentious farce!

We live in a world that teaches us to live life in a particular way. There are rights and there are wrongs. No subjective viewpoints. That is the way the world functions. It is not by observation, but by being told. Then why, do we not listen to the more important things in life?

A blogpost is no place to find enlightenment, but you never know, what may strike you as inspirational. If I can find inspiration in a dead puppy, you can find it in a candy wrapper. Who is to say?

And what if we make mistakes? Are we wasting our time? Yes, probably! When we know it's a mistake and yet we pursue it. That is utter bullshit. Learn to live and not waste time. And learn the difference between recreation, leisure and wasting time too. You may be making a mistake in choosing the wrong option.

May the Darkness guide you to Your Light!

Strangulation

Strangulation. The tepid ropes of the vile education system curled themselves against the Adam’s apple of his throat as he lay writhing in pain from the fever that had engulfed his numb body. He was lying there, sweating profusely, crying silently over the spiritual disaster that was his life. For a long time the potholes of the princely societal acceptance had haunted his smooth ride in life, making every possible bump as painful as can be. Hell cannot even hope to be so sadistic. And his state at the moment was hell. Hell to the truest form.

The ceiling fan moved silently, like a ninja slicing the air around with its assassin’s blade. The air grew old and aged as time passed in the night. Beads of sweat swarmed his face, his body, his hairy legs. The bed seemed too small to hold in his big dilemma. The sheets too tiny to keep him warm to the fullest. He had covered his face, breathing the carbon that he had exhaled only a few moments back. The darkness of the night had only but profoundly bled out dry, only to leave behind dark bruises in the atmosphere that was his room. The same room he lived, no, the same room he existed. Living is a term debatable for this sort of life. An education that has no meaning, pursuing a piece of paper that holds your dignity and walk shamefully if it cannot be achieved. This is the narrow-minded lifestyle that they all lived. His peers. His perpetrators. His parents.

He fell asleep talking to his girlfriend, knowing that he was tired. But the fever that dawned upon him knew not its limits. It wasn’t just a physical ailment; it was much more. The scars and bruises were not left on the outer shell of the human body that was his self, but deeper inside. The scars lay on his mind. The bruises painted his soul. The stink and rot of a lustful craving for self destruction had been clinging onto his back forcefully kept there for a better status in society.

But what would these social bastards know of the pains and penance a little man like him would pay for that unchecked and adulterated dignity? What would his friends know of the agony of anointing ink in the wasteful use of thoughtless words? What would the very non-existent God do if challenged about the pains? There were no answers to these rhetoric doubts that flooded him as he lay, writhing in pain.

Was it the food that sickened him? The tiring day in a disgusting place full of filthy, despicable and tasteless fools who lived only because they had a life, exhausted his living strength? What was it that troubled his soul to the extent that the physical attributes attached had to suffer like Icarus who tried only to fly. It was this. The troubles and times of past that haunted him. Mistakes that had trodden him down before, that were in effect again, at a different pace, at a different magnitude, but mistakes nonetheless.  

A Thought on Life

I was once told, that no matter what you do in life, you must always be the best at it. Even if you end up being a mere gardener, be that gardener that people would pay craploads to hire. And they would not hire you, they would request for your services. That is the kind of person you should be, that is the kind of professional you should be!If you cook, be that cook who can overcharge for his skills and never be questioned. Be that filmmaker whose expertise can never be questioned and whose work can seldom be criticised. Be that person who works not for other people, but whom other people wish to work with.Professions are only a way to spend your time, earn your money and waste your life in. But if you do something you love, something that doesn't feel like a chore and something that can give you and your loved ones enough time and resources to live a happy life, that is all you need. At least, that is all that I believe you need.Who needs a sports bike or a super car? You can walk, spread less pollution, and live healthy. Who needs a housekeeper? Learn to wash your own dishes. If you weren't brought up in that kind of environment, make sure you make that kind of environment when you come in control of your life. After all, your life is under your control. Your influence is what will shape the lives of the people around you.To be happy, choose what you must, but choose wisely.

May the Darkness guide you to Your Light!

Photography Project

So this is my Photography project that I did a few months ago for college. I have used some of these pics in some of my blog posts, but I thought, hey, let this be a a separate blogpost where I can share all my pics as they are meant to be. So here it is.

For the assignment, we had to take up any social issue and make a 10 pic photo essay. I will not say more about it, I'll let my pictures speak for themselves.

Do comment your thoughts.

...The Choice is Yours.

May the Darkness guide you to Your Light!

Writer's Block

There comes a time in every writer's life when he or she cannot produce what is most precious or prepossessing. This vile time is better known by the term, 'Writer's Block'.

I call it something else; I call it: The Lazy Mind Syndrome.

You don't have writer's block, you're just looking for excuses to not write. Probably you have a lot of distractions that you are intentionally succumbing to. Maybe it is just a simple 2048 game or a gigantic family reunion that you just can't afford to miss.

NO!

Nothing can be an excuse. You don't write once, cover it up, but don't ever put the blame on someone else! It isn't your dog, or your neighbour! Not even your girlfriend/boyfriend! For gods' sake, it's you!!! You are the block to the writer inside you!

And honestly, this Lazy Mind Syndrome is applicable to almost every  different kind of work that can be imagined. I mean, yeah I have never heard of Pilot's Block, but you get the point. I hope you do.

Why I made this post? Well, because I myself am going through some sort of a Lazy Mind Syndrome. I hate it that I haven't written as much as I should/could have. I am almost a month behind schedule. I hope you all are faring better than I am.

May the Darkness guide you to Your Light!